


The Phantom Pains of Black Hand Xiang

by BigChungo4



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Ableism, Abusive Parents, Earthbending & Earthbenders, F/M, Not Canon Compliant, Original Character(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prosthesis, Racism, Retcon, Sad Ending, The Dai Li (Avatar), This fic does not end happily, Tokka is Endgame, Underground Fight Ring, Unrequited Love, destruction of canon, ooc cause im bad at writing existing characters, shameless OC/canon shipping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:48:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 9,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25260385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigChungo4/pseuds/BigChungo4
Summary: "I can still feel it, Hai. I feel every joint of every finger. I can still feel the flesh burning, nearly to the bone. I can still feel the saw going through my wrist. Even now, I can feel your trachea being crushed between my fingers.“Wait, please-” He strained to speak, and was cut off as her grip tightened.A hand fell on her shoulder. A hand she had hoped hadn’t followed her.“Killing him won’t take the pain away, Liu.”Of course it had to be him.Her eyes fell and she glared at the stone below her.“I know killing him won't take the pain away, but honestly, I don't care about the pain anymore. I don’t care if it lasts for the rest of my life or if it all ends tomorrow.”Her eyes rose back up to Hai.“I just care about making him feel that pain too."--This started as an exercise in writing backstory for an npc in an avatar ttrpg and lo and behold, here we are.Anyways Tokka for life, watch my oc suffer for my otp.t/w: ptsd, abuse, and ableism, possibly ableism from the writing itself, I am an able-bodied person, I'm not gonna pretend to know if this is accurate or good rep, feel free to correct me.
Relationships: Sokka (Avatar)/Original Female Character(s), Toph Beifong/Sokka
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. Bones

**Author's Note:**

> Just a heads up, I haven't written fanfic in literal years so take that as you will.
> 
> A/N: Beat is a playwriting term, I use if for a short moment of silence and I'm sorry, old habits die hard.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title is based on the song of the same name by Tanooki Suit. Yes it's edgy. No I'm not sorry.

The dark closed in on Liu Xiang, like it always did on nights like this. The end of her wrist ached as she felt the storm rolling in, a reminder of the war. She sat up in bed and stared at the bandaged stump, and kept staring, and kept staring, until she could almost see blood where there hadn’t been in years, staining the bandages and creeping up her arm along with the dark, threatening to overtake her.

“Lulu?”

A voice snapped her back to reality. A familiar voice.

“I told you to stop calling me that, Sokka.” She sighed, partially in exasperation but mostly in relief. She leaned back against the headboard of her bed and looked over. 

“What can I say, I forget sometimes.” He said, leaning against the doorframe painfully casually.

“What are you doing here? It’s late.”

“Late? Liu, it’s 10am.”

She blinked. It was bright in her room, the floor by her open window was wet, and the ache in her wrist was gone. She hadn’t even realized the storm came and went.

She also hadn’t slept.

And she could tell by the way he looked at her he knew.

“Sokka-”

“It happened again, didn’t it?”

She sighed and rubbed her wrist with her hand. She nodded.

“You can’t do this every time a storm comes, Liu.”

“Apparently I can.” She moved to the edge of the bed, feeling his stare harden from caring to determined.

“Liu, I know you refused help before, but there’s no shame in-”

“I don’t need to talk about my feelings, apparently what I need are new locks because it seems every time something _could_ happen, regardless of if it _does_ or not, someone drops in uninvited.”

_Beat._

His stare softened and broke as he looked away.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be overbearing, I just care about you, Liu.” 

Another ache from a different wound. One she tried to forget.

“I know.” She rubbed her eyes, finally feeling the effects of the night she hadn't realized passed. 

_Beat._

“Thanks, Sokka.”

He smiled. “Come on, Let’s get you some coffee. You must be tired if you’re being this nice.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, fuck off.”

“Hey, watch the language Lulu, Toph has a kid now, don’t wanna slip up and say something like that around her.” 

“Sokka, if you think for a moment Toph isn’t swearing like a fire navy sailor around her own kid, you’re dumber than I thought, and that’s genuinely worrying.”

He grinned and waved off the comment. “Whatever. I’ll give you some privacy so you can clean up, ok? I’ll be out on the couch.” Liu nodded as he closed the door.

_Breathe in, breathe out. You’re here, you’re now._

She stood and walked to the wardrobe, quickly changing into a fresh set of clothes before opening the decorated box that sat on her nightstand.

_Beat._

_FWIP FWIP_

The stone gloves molded themselves to her hand and wrist. A “gift” from the Dai Li from her time in Ba Sing Se. She flexed her stone prosthesis, getting used to the feeling for a moment before exiting her room.

“Ready to go, Lulu?”

  
  
 _FWIP._ A shard of rock stuck into the wall next to Sokka’s head. 

No reaction. 

“As ready as I ever am, So...So?” She cringed at the attempt “Nope. That was even worse than I thought it would be.” He laughed.

“Leave the nicknames to me, you just focus on…” He trailed off. “Huh. Nothing, I guess. You still don't have a job.”

“What can I say? I’m just not cut out for a 9 to 5 like the rest of you.” They walked out of the apartment together. “Speaking of, Mr. Councilman, aren’t you supposed to be doing paperwork or something instead of barging into citizens homes?”

  
  
“Wait, barging into homes _isn’t_ my job? Oh, I’m so fired.”

Their laughs echoed slightly down the hallway as they walked together, and at least momentarily, Liu felt at ease. 


	2. RUN THE SPIKES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah I forgot to say, this jumps back and forth in time. Whoops.
> 
> Chapter title is taken from a Death Grips/Hotline Miami mashup. It's good and you should look it up.

Storm clouds covered the small coastal Earth Kingdom town, and the downpour hid the sound of Liu’s footsteps as she ducked in and out of alley ways to avoid the fire nation patrols. They had only been a colony town for about a month, and young and brash as she was, Liu thought she had the perfect way to scare the invaders away. All it would take was-

A hand fell on her shoulder. 

“No one is supposed to be out past curfew, little one. Especially so close to the governor’s home.”

The form of Commander Hai overshadowed her as his grip tightened on her shoulder.

“Little Earth Kingdom brats like you never seem to get it. Follow the rules, and you’ll be fine.” A burst of light splattered her shadow across the wall. “Break the rules, and you’ll be broken.” 

Time froze for a moment as she felt the heat on the back of her head.

A quick duck.

A quick shift of her weight.

A quick brush of her fingertips on the ground.

A small pillar of stone rose between his legs, hitting him hard and doubling him over as she barely avoided the blast. 

She dashed away from Hai, his cries and shouts alerting everyone in the area. She ran, plotting a course for the outer wall of town in her head as she went.

Did he know who she was? If he had even a guess, she couldn’t risk heading home. Was there anywhere in town that was safe? 

She didn't get to finish processing her thoughts as she was tackled by a patrol just before she reached the gate.

Held securely above the ground, her attempts to earthbend were futile as the minutes passed, and the dread set in.

It wasn’t long before the furious commander rounded the corner and saw her, the girl who humiliated just a short while ago.

“Remove her mask”

The guard followed orders silently, pulling the mask from her face and revealing her identity to Hai.

“Ah… General Xiang’s brat, I should have figured. A coward, just like your father.”

She spat in his face.

_ Beat. _

He took a deep breath.

“Much more defiant I see.” He wiped the spit from his face. “Defiance,” He began to pace “Comes from a lack of fear. You, little girl, are about to learn fear.”

The adrenaline kept her from feeling the pit in her stomach as he spoke.

“Guard, lift her arm for me.”

He complied.

“Your father lost his life when he defied me. But you, you’re young. You can learn. So, I want you to take this lesson to heart. Never. Forget. Your. Place.”

She didn’t feel the fire for a moment, but soon, the flame consuming her hand was all she could feel, and she did the only thing she could think to do.

Scream. Scream into the storm and hope someone would hear and help her.

The flesh began to melt away from her hand, and after what felt like forever, the stream of fire faded away, along with Liu’s consciousness.

“Take her to whatever passes for a doctor in this backwater and leave her. Let this be a message to any who would challenge us. There won't be mercy next time.”


	3. Allies of Convenience and Poor Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the Present again. It'll probably go back and forth chapter by chapter, but I'll specify just in case it gets confusing.
> 
> No song reference in the title this time.

As it turned out, Sokka really did have a meeting to get to, which cut his and Liu’s time together short. Not that she minded.

Not at all.

She gazed at the sky lazily from the outdoor table of the cafe, her mind drifting for a moment before snapping back to reality as a familiar form looked over her.

“Long Feng.” It was more of a passive acknowledgement of the old man rather than a greeting, and it was one that she obviously resented having to make in the first place.

“Ms. Xiang.” He replied, just as flat. The ex-head of the Dai Li walked to the other side of the table and took a seat, looking across at Liu as she did her best to ignore him.

“Still squirming your way into other people’s business?” She asked. His nose twitched at the jab, but the twitch fell into a smug grin.

“You know better than most Ms. Xiang, Other people’s business  _ IS _ my business. A business you’ve been frequenting.” A folder landed lightly in front of her.

“And one I won't have to frequent ever again, if I’m lucky.” she said, swiping at the folder. A section of the stone table shifted, pushing the folder back towards Long Feng.

“You know the deal. Payment first.”

A stack a yuon slid across the bottom of the table, sent along using the stone glove. He frowned when he saw the glove, but took the money and slid the folder back across the table.

“You know, for someone without a job, Ms. Xiang, you sure pay well.”

“What are you implying, Long Feng?”

“Oh, nothing. I’m just an old man thinking out loud.” He stood and began to walk away. “If you require my services, you know where to find me.”

She looked back at the sky as he left, doing her best to put what he said out of her mind. All that mattered in that moment was the folder, or more specifically, the pictures within. 

She looked through the pictures, keeping a straight face as best she could as she looked upon a face she hadn't seen in years.

Half of her never wanted to see him again.

The other half desperately needed to.

“Hai… I finally found you…” She sneered instinctively for a moment before regaining her composure. She flicked through the pictures. Then again. Then once more.

Yes, the pictures proved he was in republic city, but they didn’t do much more than that. None of the pictures were ever in the same location, there was no way for her to track him down.

_ Sokka could do it. He’s always been the one who was good at stuff like this. _

No, there was no way she was bringing him into this. He was a public official. This was a revenge mission. What would people think of him if he helped her?

_ Beat. _

What would _he_ think of _her_ for doing this in the first place?

No. It wasn't an option. There was no way to track Hai down.

No way besides paying Long Feng to do it for her.

She stood and rolled the folder up, sliding it into her pack. She left a few extra yuon on the table as a tip and walked off, back towards her apartment.

If she was going to pay Long Feng again, she was going to need another payday.

And there was only one place she knew she could get said payday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think they ever specified what happened to Long Feng after Ba Sing Se, so I'm taking advantage of that.


	4. Familiar Patterns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternating back to the past.
> 
> Title is stolen from a PUP song

There was no way of saving the hand, that much was obvious, but that meant amputation, and most of the doctor’s supplies had been taken by the Fire Nation for use in the navy. That meant while she was unconscious now, there was no way to keep Liu unconscious during the operation.

When Liu came too, the saw was already half way through her arm.

Or,  _ only _ half way.

Liu screamed and tried to pull away, but the doctor’s grip kept her arm still.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” The doctor cried, continuing with the operation despite her patient’s pain. “There's no way to save it, I’m so sorry. Please, If you move it will only hurt you more.”

Liu cried in pain, trying her best to stay still as the pain shot up her arm. Against her best judgement, she looked over at her hand.

It was barely a hand anymore. It was completely burned, the flesh scorched black and almost down to the bone.

She shut her eyes and grit her teeth, letting out a loud pained growl and trying to focus on anything besides the pain.

A flash from the window. A roll of thunder.

The storm. 

She did her best to focus on the storm as the doctor finished the operation, but with no way to reduce the pain, the storm was only background noise to her own screams.

* * *

Hai’s warning had worked. After what had happened to Liu, no one even thought about rising up against his authority. The town had fully given up, fully given in to the fire nation. 

The town was so scared, Liu’s mother hadn’t even come to see her, fearing that Liu’s actions would make her and Liu’s sister targets of even more retaliation.

Liu had spent weeks in the doctor’s office as she treated her, attempting to at least reduce the pain emanating from her wrist. Herbal medicines and salves did little for the trauma, however, and Liu found herself simply staring out the window most days, regardless of how much pain she was in.

_ That cloud looks like a rock. _

The doctor did her best to take care of Liu, only getting head nods or head shakes in response to her questions. She never pressed her for more, something Liu would be thankful for once she found herself on the road to recovery.

_ That cloud looks like dragon. Or a rock. _

After her amputation had healed, Liu had returned home. Her mother didn’t dote on her. In fact, her mother ignored her completely, leaving Liu to do what she had been doing for the past month.

Stare out the window.

After another few weeks, she began taking short breaks from her cloud gazing to try and shift the stone floor of her room. It had been hard at first, Liu’s bending was unbalanced, her muscle memory based on motions she could no longer do, but with practice, she began to figure what adjustments she needed to make, what shifts in her stances would rebalance her, center her.

_ That cloud looks like a flower. Or a rock. _

As the year was finally rounding out, Liu found herself more powerful than she ever had been, drawing power from a stoicism that she hadn’t had before.

But though her form was like stone, her heart was like fire, burning with a rage unending.

Hai had thought he had taken a part of her away, but he only added fuel to the fire within her.

And she knew just how much that fire could burn

_ That cloud looks like a flying bison. Or a rock. _

_..._

_... _

_ A flying bison? _


	5. Broken Bones and Pocket Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title stolen wholesale from St. Paul and the Broken Bones

Liu shook out her head and took a quick breath. In. Out. In. Out.

“Ladies and Gentlemen of Republic City, are you ready for tonight's main event?” The announcer’s voice rang out in the small hall, the packed in crowd cheering as they leaned over the edge of the pit, shouting obscenities and insults at the two combatants below them.

Liu looked over the man across from her. Her opponent.

Water Tribe. Non-bender. Overly wide stance. Attractive.

_ Remind you of someone? _

She shook the thought out of her head, the thought taking enough focus away from her long enough for her to completely miss her opponent’s name.

“And returning after a short hiatus, his opponent, The Black Hand!”

Liu rose her stone fist, drawing a few cheers and several insults from the crowd, but they all blended into the background as Liu focused, taking a defensive stance and waiting for him to make the first move.

A move that he matched.

Non-Benders didn’t usually make the main event unless they were skilled. No raw power to fall back on. So either he was being smart, or really, really annoying

Liu decided on the second one, and broke her defensive stance.

She stomped, sending a short wave of earth at the man, who jumped over it easy. Another stomp, 2 stones from the ground and a quick 1-2 left-right, he dodged just as easily and stepped forward towards her. 

_ Finally. _

Another stomp, another wall, another jump - Straight into a rock.

The man flew back as the stone smashed across his chest, barely stopping himself from falling completely over. He took up his stance again and glared at Liu. Now, she was in control and it was on him to close the distance.

_ Beat. _

The movement was explosive from both combatants, as the water tribe man dove over the stone wall raised in his path, rolling under the flying stone thrown at him, sweeping at her legs as he rose from the roll.

Bending time was over, it was a full on fist fight now.

Punch for punch, kick for kick, they traded blows, deciding to take the brunt of each other’s blows full, but whether they were doing this out of pride or masochism was unclear.

And after half a minute of exchanged blows, a turning point. A loud crack rang out through the room as the water tribe man’s knee met Liu’s ribs. The air left the room and her lungs as she grit her teeth and brought her stone fist up against his jaw in return. 

Another crack, and the sound of a body crumbling to the ground

Liu, holding her side, stood victorious over her opponent as shouts came down from above, some cheering, some crying, some furious.

“Annnnnnd your winner! The Black Hand!”

The man awoke from unconsciousness and blinked, pushing himself off the ground slightly as he tried to get his bearings. Liu offered him a hand. 

He looked up at her, then the hand, then back at her. 

_ Beat. _

He took it and she helped him up.

“Tit for tat, You gotta help me out of the pit. You got me good there at the end.”

He rubbed his jaw. “Apparently not good enough. Hell of a right you got.”

She let out a single chuckle. “Thanks,” She opened and closed the stone glove. “It’s the rock.” They walked over to the wall and he gave her a boost to the ledge.

“Whatever it was, it worked. Good fight, Black Hand.” he said, pulling himself up after her. She walked over to the booker, still holding her side. 

“Good fight down there. There was a lot of money on this fight, about 50/50 between you and Henare over there.”

“Henare, eh? Doesn’t sound like Southern water tribe. or Northern tribe for that matter.” She said, looking over as he walked up next to her.

“That’s cause it's not.”

“Oooo, mysterious,” she started. “You gonna tell me what it is then?” She asked, grabbing a stack of yuon from the booker.

“I’m from a small island chain between the Fire Nation and the Southern tribe.”

“Oh? And were you loyal subjects?”

“Depends on how you look at it.” He took his own stack and began to walk away.

“Sounds like you’re copping out.”

“Sounds like you’re asking too many questions.”

“Sorry, it’s a habit. See you around, Henare.” She turned away and began walking away herself.

“See you around, Liu Xiang.”

And just like that, her broken rib was no longer the most uncomfortable part of the night.


	6. Smoke

No one questioned Liu as she walked slowly out of the house. No one questioned her as she walked lethargically through town, eyes still locked on the sky. No one even questioned her when she wandered out of the gates of the town and out into the forest. As far as the fire nation soldiers knew, she was just a broken empty shell that finally decided it was time to rot away.

None of them knew that the fire within her burned brighter than it ever had before.

She broke her gaze with the sky as soon as she was out of view, her pace quickening as she left the main path in the direction of the thing she had seen in the sky just earlier that day.

They say the Avatar rides a sky bison. Maybe that was him. Maybe he can help you.

Maybe he can help you kill Hai.

She took a deep breath and made her way through the underbrush, staying as quiet as she could. If she had to take a guess, she was going to be walking for a while before she found anything. If she found anything.

Her guess was wrong.

Only a few minutes later, she heard voices in the distance, which soon stopped as she approached.

Liu took step after slow step, walking as quietly as she could towards where she had heard the sounds. And, as she reached the edge of the clearing, she saw it.

A sky bison.

Her jaw dropped, her first large expression in months as she marveled at the majestic giant. She took another step forward into the clearing before-

“SNEAK ATTA-” She grabbed the man’s arm as he ran up to her, flipping him over her shoulder and dropping down onto a solid stance, lifting her left arm to strike the-

_Oh._

She stopped her punch as she saw the obviously-not-fire-nation boy she had just taken down.

“Stop, there’s no need for violence.” A girl's voice rang out from behind the giant bison. 3 other people walked out, one girl in clothes matching the boy she just took down, one shorter girl in earth kingdom colors, and one she had seen on wanted posters before.

The Avatar.

She rose from her stance and looked over the group, in shock that she was right. She opened her mouth to speak.

_Beat._

Nothing came out.

She took a breath and tried again.

“... Hhhhhssssssorry, about that..” Her voice came out weak and stilted, she hadn't spoken in months and it showed. She offered her left hand to the boy she had taken down. “Let me, help.”

He looked at Liu oddly, but swallowing his pride he took her hand and she helped him up.

The girl in blue spoke up. “Is there something you needed?”

Liu’s eyes fell on the Air monk. “Are you, the Avatar?” she asked. He nodded. “I need your, help.” She lifted her right arm.

The girl in blue gasped slightly. The girl in green shrugged.

“Big deal, you and everyone else.”

“Toph, wait, let’s hear her out.” the Avatar said, looking back at Liu and her missing hand. “What do you need?”

_“I need you to kill Commander Hai”_

_Beat._

The boy in blue waved his hand in front of her face. “Uh, hello? Anyone home?”

_Oh._

“... I need…” She froze as the real answer refused to leave her lips.

Beat.

An explosion.

She turned back.

A column of smoke.

She ran back the way she came.

Images of a home in flames filled her head, so much so that she didn’t even hear the others following behind her.


	7. Ocean Breathes Salty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a long chapter

Liu groaned as the knocking at her door got louder. She lay shirt-open on the couch, the compression wrap around her ribs making it a bit harder to breathe than normal. “No one home, come back later!” She shouted. 

“Liu, please open the door.” Sokka’s voice was muffled, but clear enough to tell it was him.

“Sorry, no Liu here. Just an empty apartment.”

He sighed and knocked again, louder.

And faster.

And louder.

And faster.

And-

“Alright, alright! You win!” She shouted. She sat up, wincing in pain as she buttoned her shirt closed and walked to the door. She opened the door and stared him down. “What is it?”

He gave her a half smile. “Can I come in?”

“No.”

“Fair.” He said, leaning on the doorframe. “Well, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Ok? Spit it out.” 

“Well, I wanted to see if you wanted to get a drink tonight.”

She blinked. Then blinked again.

“Liu?”

She punched him in the chest, almost knocking him over.

“You had to pull that shit to ask me if I wanted to get a drink?”

He rubbed his chest and pouted at her. “Well, gotta get you out of the house somehow, step one is getting you to open the door. Come on, Liu, I haven't seen you since we got coffee last week.”

“That was barely getting coffee, you left as soon as you finished yours.”

“Then consider this making up for that.” 

She sighed and smiled. “Fine. I’m in.” 

* * *

She took a deep breath of the ocean air that rolled in over the bay waters, fiddling with the pin keeping her hair up. 

She cleaned up well.

A little too well for a night of drinking with a friend.

But alas, she found herself putting in more work into looking nice than she had in months, hating that she knew exactly why she found herself doing it.

Tonight marked the year anniversary of Suki breaking up with Sokka.

And that made what she was doing that much worse.

She sighed and walked into the bar, her suit drawing most of the eyes in the bar, much to her discomfort. She searched the room with her eyes, her eyes landing on a corner table.

There he was. 

Not alone.

_Oh._

Sokka and Toph both smiled and waved her over to the table, Sokka leaning over to Toph to whisper something. She laughed heartily as Liu took her seat.

Sokka grinned at her. “Didn’t realize there was a wedding tonight. You look like you’re someone’s best man.” Liu rubbed the back of her neck and didn’t reply.

_Beat._

Sokka blinked and realized exactly why he thought that.

“Oh my god. You DID wear that at a wedding.”

Liu rolled her eyes as Toph and Sokka laughed, signalling for a round to be brought to the table.

“Look, I haven't gone out in a while and I wanted to look nice. Last time I looked nice was Aang and Katara’s wedding. I put two and two together, and I got four, give me a break.”

“If it’s any consolation, I think you look fantastic.” Toph said.

“Thanks, Toph. At least some-”

_Beat._

“Oh. Blind. Ha ha.” the others laughed as the drinks were brought over, Liu downing hers almost immediately and ordering another before the waitress could leave. The laughter died down.

“No, really though, you look gorgeous tonight.” Sokka said, taking a swig from his cup and instantly regretting it. “AACK! Nope, that’s gross, that’s gotta be yours Toph.” He swapped cups with her and took a gulp of his actual correct drink.

“Not my fault you’re such a baby.” Toph fired back. Liu laughed.

“Hey, I’m not a baby, I just like the taste of fruit. Nothing wrong with that.”

“Oh, you drink for the taste? We’re in much different places in our lives.” Liu grabbed her new drink from the waitress, thanking her with a small stack of yuon. “Keep it flowing, we’re gonna be a while.”

“Ooooo, are drinks on Liu for once?” Sokka asked.

“Just the first few, you’ve got the tab when we really get going.”

* * *

It was almost 3 am before they all staggered out of the bar, singing a shanty in 3 different keys.

They all walked to the edge of the bay together and took resting positions, Toph sitting on the ground and Liu leaning on the guard rail with Sokka. He looked out over the bay.

“Thanks, I needed that.”

“Heh, you weren’t the only one.” Liu laughed lightly, wincing a bit as she pushed away from the rail to turn around “I’m sure The Chief needed it too.”

Toph waved her hand dismissively. “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.”

Sokka turned to them. “I don’t say it enough but… You guys are important to me.”

“Oh no, Emotional Sokka, the most dangerous kind.” Liu said, trying to force her own feelings down like she had all night. Toph was silent.

“Hey, don’t be mean, I mean it.” He said, pouting.

“Fine, fine, you’re important to me too.” He smiled and went in for a hug. Liu, forgetting about her ribs, went in too, groaning quietly as he squeezed her a little too hard.

“Come on Toph, get in here.” He said, holding out a hand for her.

“Fine, fine…” She took it and joined the group hug, being especially light on Liu.

The hug broke and Sokka smiled.

“Really though, thank you both.” 

“It’s no problem.” Liu smiled back and Toph nodded.

“I hate to cut the night short, but I really gotta get home. I can hear sleep calling to me.” He bowed dramatically, before falling over completely. They laughed.

“You gonna get home alright?” Toph asked. 

“Yeah, I live right up the street, I’ll be fine Chief Bei Fong.” he said, getting up and walking away, waving as he did.

_Beat._

“What happened?” Toph asked.

“What do you mean what happened?” 

“You know exactly what I mean. You have two broken ribs on your left side.”

“Oh, two? I guess I didn’t actually know.”

“You would have known if you went to a doctor.”

“I don’t like doctors, you know that.”

“And I don’t like it when my friends are hurt. What. Happened.”

“Am I safe to assume you’re gonna know if I’m lying?”

Toph was silent. Liu sighed.

“I found a job.”

_Beat._

Toph sighed. “Not technically a lie. What’s the job?”

Silence.

“Liu, come on. I’m just worried about you.”

_Beat._

“You can’t tell Sokka.”

“You know I can’t promise that.”

“Then I can’t tell you.” Liu began to walk away, only for Toph to grab her wrist to stop her.

A voice rang in her head.

_“Guard, lift her arm for me.”_

Liu kicked Toph away from her and fell into a fighting stance reflexively, not even processing what had happened for a moment.

“Fuck! What the hell, Liu?” Toph held her stomach, the hurt in her voice clear.

_Beat._

Liu ran.


	8. Bloodlines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. Lily is Liu's little sister and I didn't name her before lol

As Liu ended up back on the main path, she felt herself freeze up. The lack of guards on the wall or by the gate made her panic even more. Panic she wouldn’t have time to address.

The footsteps that were following her finally caught up, stopping with a gasp.

“Help me.” She turned to them. “Help us.”

The group turned to each other, nodding in silent agreement before turning back to Liu.

“Show us where to go.” The boy in blue said as the others readied themselves.

* * *

The town, despite the fire, was nearly silent, the group only seeing a few people as they took shelter within their homes. And as they approached the center of town, the reason became clear.

_Hai._

Liu pressed herself against the wall of the building between her and the group of Fire navy soldiers, the grain storehouse across the square still smoldering and smoking, the buildings around it scorched or in the process of burning themselves.

“Do any of you understand the point of a symbol?” Hai asked, walking down the line, his voice low but intense. “A symbol is a reminder. In this case, a reminder that our judgement is swift and final. That our power is unquestionable. That there is only one fate that meets those who oppose us.” he stopped near the end of the line, facing one of the soldiers. “Do you know what happens when symbols vanish?”

“No, sir.”

Hai grabbed the man’s arm and threw him over his shoulder, stomping on his helmet as he landed. 

“People forget! And you know what happens when people forget?” He pulled the man’s arm and pushed his head away with his foot, getting no answer but a scream of pain. “People forget, and have to be punished so they never forget again!” He gave his shoulder another pull before letting go, pushing the prone man away. He turned to the line again.

Not a soldier out of place.

“Search the town. No stone unturned. Dismissed.”

The soldiers saluted and broke away, one walking towards the group. Liu looked at the others, put a finger to her lips and shhhh’d. With a slight motion, the stone wall of the building extended out quietly and slowly, closing off the alley on their side just as the soldier passed. The girl in green nodded. 

“Nice trick”

“Thanks.”

“You five!”

The group froze at the sound, but realized quickly that it was coming from the town square. Hai was still giving orders.

“You five, come with me. This is the last time the Xiang’s insult me.”

Liu’s eyes widened.

_Lily’s in danger, and it’s all your fault._


	9. Broken Bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the 3rd chapter title with "Bones" in it, and the second with "Broken Bones". I will not apologize.
> 
> Title is the song of the same name by CRX

Liu hadn’t gone back to her apartment after that night. No, she couldn't go back. She couldn't risk seeing them again, not yet, not after what she did.

No, instead, Liu hid by putting herself up in a small hotel using the last of her payment from her last fight.

_ That means you gotta go back for another round, broken rib or no. _

She took a seat on the end of her bed and ran her hand through her hair, her mind replaying the previous night over and over.

_ You didn’t mean to do it. It was a trigger. She would have understood that if you just talked to her. _

_ But you never were good at that, were you? _

_ You deserve this. _

_ You always push people away, the consequences are just finally hitting you. _

A light knock at the door snapped her back into reality, and she watched as a small piece of paper was slid under the door. Narrowing her eyes, she stood and slowly walked over, picking up the paper carefully.

_ “Black Hand vs. Henare Latu was a great main event. Rematch tonight. Better pay. Information after.” - L.F. _

Long Feng.

Of course.

She sighed and put the paper down on the nightstand by the bed, before taking a deep breath and pressing a hand to her side. She winced in pain.

Still healing.

_ Gonna have to deal with it. Not in a position to turn down a paycheck. _

* * *

Liu rolled her shoulders as she looked at the audience above her, packed in even more than last time. The announcer's voice blended into the background noise as she scanned said audience, her eyes landing oh a face in a crowd.

A familiar face.

A face she was avoiding.

She didn’t even hear the announcer call for the beginning of the fight as her eyes locked with Sokka’s, finding herself frozen in place.

That is, until a kick to her left side snapped her out of it.

She felt her still-healing ribs take the full brunt of the force, the pain bringing her to her knees. She blinked, finally back in the moment, barely ducking the knee Henare was bringing to her face. She grabbed his leg as it flew over her, pulling it out from under him and locking his ankle in the pit of her elbow.

She heard his grunts as she twisted his ankle, but he countered the hold quickly, kicking her away from him and breaking her grip.

He rolled away from her and got to his feet, staring her down and looking for an opening. 

She didn’t give him one, chasing his down aggressively and tackling him as he rose up.

The crowd cheered as the fight devolved into a pure brawl, both attempting to get the (literal) upper hand by being on top.

After a few minutes of trading blows, they broke away and both rose to their feet, breathing heavily.

Then, Liu saw her chance. 

Henare took his stance, overly wide as usual, and Liu launched hearthstone prosthesis from her wrist, the stone hand grabbing him around the ankle and pinning it to the wall.

Liu launched the other glove and pinned his opposite arm to the wall, running forward and delivering the coup de grace

She felt the air being pressed out of his lungs as she full body dropkicked Henare against the wall, rolling as she hit the ground, back to Henare. The stone gloves flew back to her and she waited to hear the body hit the ground.

It didn’t.

She felt the knee hit the back of her head, and she fell prone, face first. Another kick hit her in the ribs, flipping her to her back.

Her eyes locked with Sokka’s one last time, and she saw her pain reflected in his eyes.

_ I’m sorry. _

And, as the final kick struck her chin, she was out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry/Not sorry I'm using italics for both inner monologue, sound effects, and things being read.


	10. Love Stopped Me Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> t/w This is the big abuse chapter, ill put a tl;dr in the end note if you wanna avoid it.

Liu followed the Hai, most of the others splitting off to take care of the other patrolling guards. The boy in blue followed behind, a club in his hand, ready to fight.

Following was easy, none of the soldiers wanted to get in Hai’s way after the demonstration in the square, leaving him and his squad a wide berth, and by extension, Liu and the boy in blue.

It wasn’t long before Hai made it to the Xiang estate, his soldiers lining up outside the front. Liu and the boy hid and waited for their moment.

“Tao Xiang, It’s Commander Hai. We need to talk.” He shouted from the front door, not bothering to knock. After a moment, Liu’s mother opened the door, cautiously peeking her head around. 

“What seems to be the problem, commander?” She asked, the door still mostly closed.

“Oh, Tao, Tao, Tao…” He gave a short chuckle. “You know exactly what the problem is.” He pushed the door open, almost knocking her over. “Where is she!?” He shouted, grabbing her and pulling her out of the house.

“I don’t know! I don’t know! She doesn’t talk to us!” She shouted, throwing up her arms in surrender and going to her knees. Hai crouched in front of her, going down to her level. He ignited a flame in his hand.

“You must know something, woman.” He brought the flame closer to her face. “So tell me what you do know, or things are going to get a lot-”

“Mommy?” A small child no older than 4 peeked around the doorframe, and Hai turned.

Liu wasn’t going to let it escalate past that.

She broke her cover and gave a primal yell, stomping and splitting the road in front of the estate in two, shoving the squad of fire nation soldiers to the side with a wave of earth and burying them beneath it. Hai turned, his focus taken off the young girl. He smirked when he saw Liu.

“There you are.” He stood and walked slowly over towards her, Tao standing and running back inside. Hai looked down at the shattered stone street and the now buried guards, before looking back at her. “I guess you haven’t learned your lesson. That’s on me, I was too merciful. You Earth Kingdom dogs are too stubborn to learn new tricks. And there’s only one thing to do with a useless, stubborn, gimped pup: Put it down.” The blast came quickly, but Liu ducked it easily, looking back for a moment.

_ Where’s the blue guy? _

The second and third blast came quickly, forcing Liu to take cover behind the building again. The boy was gone.

_ Of course. You’re alone Liu. Like always. _

She sighed and turned the corner, taking a low stance and raising a wall between her and Hai, slowly pushing forward as he threw blast after blast. He punched through momentarily, but Liu was able to seal the holes just as quick. 

Finally reaching the street, Liu swept her leg to the side, separating the bottom of the wall and pushing it over, Hai rolling to the side as it fell where he was. He threw another fireball, igniting the roof of the home behind her. 

_ Beat. _

Hai and Liu were at a stand still, both in defensive, low stances, waiting for the other to make a move. 

Hai obliged.

Liu rose a wall of stone between them, guarding herself from a flame that never came.

No, instead, the fireball flew past her and into the window of her home. Liu screamed, dropping the wall and attempting to dash towards her home.

She didn’t get far.

Hai grabbed her by the back of the shirt, pulling her back and lifting her off the ground.

“Today, The Xiang bloodline ends.” Liu struggled in his grip as he ignited another fireball in his hand. “Say hello to your father for me, I’m sure he’ll be grateful for the company in whatever hell he’s burning in.” He brought the flame up to her face, and Liu leaned away as much as she could, the heat getting worse as the flame got closer. She closed her eyes, the fear slowly turning to despair and acceptance.

_ This is what you deserve Liu. The world is better off without you. _

_ … _

_ What’s that sound? _

_ fwipfwipfwipfwipfwipFWIPFWIP _

_ THUNK _

She opened her eyes just as the metal boomerang hit Hai in the back of the head. He crumbled to the ground unconscious, letting go of Liu as they hit the ground. She looked around, spotting the boy in blue as he picked up the weapon and nodded at her.

“Boomerang. It never fails.” Liu nodded back, looking down at Hai’s form before the crackle of fire behind her brought her back into the moment.

_ Lily. _

She ran back towards her home, reaching the front just as Her mother and sister came running out. Liu’s face softened for the first time in months and she ran over, pulling Lily into a hug.

A hug cut short by her mother pulling her away. 

“Don’t you touch her! Don’t you dare touch her!” Tao shouted. Liu blinked and stared at her dumbstruck.

“M-mom, I-” A hand struck her across the face, silencing her.

“Be silent! You have done nothing but cause trouble for us! You’re just like your father, nothing but a good for nothing leech who put us in danger!”

“But mommy-” Lily started, Tao lifted her hand, and she stopped.

“Both of you, be quiet! Don’t defend her Lily. She’s the reason you’re in danger, why we’re in danger!” Tears welled in Liu’s eyes. “And you, don’t you dare cry. You are not my daughter. You are not welcome here.”

“Mom, please-” Another slap.

“I am not your mother anymore.” The tears flowed freely now.

“Lily, I-” 

Slap.

“And she is not your sister anymore, don’t you dare say her name. Leave.”

_ Beat. _

“LEAVE!” 

Liu stumbled back into the street, Her mother pushing past her and knocking her over, dragging Lily along with her.

Liu reached out for Lily as she passed, her sister returning the gesture as she passed.

But she was just out of reach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tl;dr 
> 
> Hai is threatens Liu's mother and sister, Liu fights Hai, Hai nearly wins but Sokka's boomerang saves the day. Liu is then disowned by her mother and her sister is taken away.


	11. Ash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We've reached the end of my back log, I was staying two chapters ahead with a chapter posted almost every day, but the last few days have been super busy so I'm all caught up. Might take a day or two for the next post, but I'm gonna try to write three chapters to give myself padding again.

Liu jolted up from her unconsciousness, finding herself sitting in the burned out husk of her home. She felt her side, expecting pain but finding none. She furrowed her brow and stood, taking a moment to turn in place and look around.

It was her old room. Burned, yes, but many of her belongings were seemingly unharmed. She walked over to a shelf, grabbing a small ivory figure. A gift from her father before he went off to war. She rubbed away the ash and dust, revealing the bright, highly detailed gemsbok bull beneath the layer of grime. She squeezed the figure in her hand, taking comfort in the small object. Taking a deep breath, she turned, and found herself trapped in the grip of Commander Hai and lifted off the ground by her neck. She struggled against his grip as he ignited a flame in his other hand.

“Time to wake up, Ms. Xiang. Wake up, and smell the ashes.”

He brought the fire close to her face, and-

Bright white light filled her vision as she awoke with a shout, the pain in her side shooting through her as she sat up in the hospital bed. Her eyes darted back and forth, taking in her surroundings before locking on the figure sitting next to her bed.

“Easy, easy, you’re ok, Liu. You’re safe.” Sokka reassured her, reaching out his hand to put it on her shoulder. Liu pushed it away.

“Why were you there?” She asked. He frowned.

“I should be asking you the same thing.”

“I asked first.” He sighed and gave in.

“Toph told me what happened after I left. She said you were hurt, and I was worried about you, so when you weren’t home, I tracked you down.”

“How did you find me?”

“I answered your question, it’s your turn to answer mine. Why were you there?”

“I needed the money.”

“Liu, if you needed help, you could have asked us…”

“I don’t need charity, Sokka. I needed the money, yes, but… I also needed to do something. To feel alive. I’m not cut out for this way of life, where I work a normal job, live in a normal city. I was born into the war, and…” She took a deep breath, looked away, and sighed it out. “I don’t know how to live outside of it. I spent my whole life fighting. I’m good at it. I’m not good at... whatever this is.” 

He reached out again, and this time Liu let him, locking hands with him. She turned back to him for a moment, but looked away quickly, a mix of embarrassment and shame filling her.

“It’s not charity, Liu. We care about you. I care about you.” He squeezed her hand, and she did her best to not read into his words. “We’ve all got scars from the war. I’m not saying that to detract from your pain, I’m saying it to remind you that we are here for you.” He let go of her hand and leaned back in his chair. “I still get nightmares sometimes. About the attack on our tribe. Except, instead of Katara going to find mom, it’s me, and I’m always just a little too late.”

He looked at the ground. “And when I finally get to her, she grabs me and asks me why I didn’t do anything. Why I wasn't there. Why I wasn’t looking after Katara.” He breathed deeply and shuddered. 

“... I’m sorry, Sokka.”

“Don’t be. It’s something I've come to terms with, in no small part because of my friends.” He met her eyes again and gave her a half smile. 

They sat in silence for a moment before Liu spoke up.

“How did you find me?” She asked, Sokka’s smile fading.

“... Long Feng. I knew he would be my best chance of finding you after you went missing. I didn’t expect him to know where you were going to be the same night.” 

Liu sighed, and Sokka looked away.

“Yeah. That makes sense. I think Henare works for him.”

Sokka blinked. “Wait, so, you aren't mad that I worked with someone who actively tried to kill us?”

“Sokka, there were a lot of people that actively tried to kill us. And besides…” She swallowed dryly. “I have no right to judge. I’m working with him too.”

Sokka raised an eyebrow. “Wait, what? Why?”

_Beat._

“Personal reasons.” She said, once again breaking eye contact

“Can you tell me?”

_Beat._

“... Not right now. I’m sorry.” She said, laying back down in the bed. “I think I just need to rest for a while.” Sokka nodded and stood. 

“Please don’t rush it. Let yourself heal, ok?” She nodded in response, and he began to leave.

“Sokka?”

“Yeah, Liu?”

“Tell Toph I’m sorry.”

"Tell her yourself. She's was waiting for you to wake up so she could, and I quote, 'kick your ass for being a prideful idiot.'" Liu laughed, before groaning in pain.

"Fine, but can you tell her to at least avoid my ribs?"

"Now that? That I can do."


	12. The chapter that stopped me from writing for weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a fan of this chapter, sorry. But, I gotta move on past it, ive been stuck on it too long.

Liu rubbed her face, her cheek wet with tears she had no power to stop. She stared off in the direction of her mother and sister who were long gone by the time she had actually processed what had happened.

Finally, for the first time since she lost her hand, she felt herself give into the pain.

Tears and snot rolled down her face, her body wracked with sobs that threatened to take all the air from her lungs. She cried, and cried, and cried until she physically couldn't anymore, her lungs burning as she took a deep inhale and cried even more.

She wasn't sure how long she was there, nor did she care, but when she finally wiped her eyes, Hai was gone. She took a few deep breaths and wiped her face on the inside of her shirt, making a half hearted attempt at cleaning herself up as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up.

The boy in blue looked at her, the look in his eye not one of pity, but sympathy. He crouched to her level. “You know, you could come with us. There’s room on Appa for one more.” She teared up at the kindness, and pulled him into a hug as she began to cry again. He held her and pat her back.

Another minute passed as the second wave of tears finally subsided and she pulled away, wiping her face again. “... Thank you, but… I shouldnt.” She said, standing finally. The words came clearly, no longer stilted. “I’m Liu. Liu Xiang. I’m sorry I couldn’t say it earlier.” He nodded at her.

“No, it’s ok. I’m Sokka. Sorry about…” He looked around at the destroyed area and the still burning home. “Everything.” She shook her head.

“It’s not your fault.” She said, looking down the road as the others from the group came around the corner. Sokka waved them over.

“Are you guys ok?” The avatar asked. “Town’s clear, Looks like the fire nation went running, at least for now.” He stopped as they finally got close enough to see clearly, immediately picking up on Liu’s puffy red eyes. “What happened?”

Liu took a deep breath and sighed it out. “I… I’d rather not talk about it.”

Sokka cut in before anyone else could ask another question. “Guys, this is Liu. She’s an earthbender.” He looked over at her. “And she’s coming with us.”

_ Beat _ .

Several variations of ‘what?’ and ‘huh?’ went up from the group, including from Liu herself.

Sokka looked over. “Look, it’s obvious you can’t stay here, we’ve got a flying bison, It just makes sense.”

Liu shrunk a little. “I-I mean… Yeah, I can’t stay. But I can’t ask you guys to do this. You’ve helped me enough.”

The girl in blue spoke up, looking around and putting Liu’s situation together in her head. “At least let us give you a ride.”

After a moment, Liu nodded. “... Ok. I’ll come with you.” She looked back to her burning home. “You’re right, Sokka. I can’t stay here. There’s no place for me to stay even if I could.” She turned back to the girl in blue. “If you’ll have me, I’d like to take you up on that.”


	13. Twelve Feet Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More song title chapter names

Silence.

That was all there was for hours as Toph leaned against the wall in Liu’s hospital room, obviously angry with Liu and waiting for an explanation, one that Liu was content to sit in silence and avoid giving.

It was a waiting game.

Toph’s least favorite kind.

The kind she always lost.

“For fuck’s sake, Liu, just say something. I can feel your heartbeat from here.”

“Can’t you always?”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Then what _ do _ you mean?” Liu asked, finally looking up at her. She traced Toph’s face with her eyes. Her usual stoic look was completely gone from it, instead replaced by one of hurt.

“I mean I can feel the rhythm, it’s off. And not off like you’re lying or hurt. It’s different.”

_ ThumpThump Thump Thump ThumpThump _

Liu felt it, and knew what it was by the burning sensation creeping across her face from ear to ear.

“It’s nothing.” Liu said, the lie obvious even to someone who couldn't hear her heartbeat.

_ ThumpThumpThumpThump _

“ _ Now _ you’re lying.”

Liu sighed, finding herself unable to watch the hurt she was causing. Toph took a knee by the bed and reached out slowly, hovering her hand over Liu’s arm, almost as if she was afraid to touch her.

_ Oh. _

“I won’t hit you.” Liu said, the shame rushing over her.

_ Beat. _

“...Promise?” Toph’s voice was soft, frail even, but it felt like a dagger through Liu’s heart.

“I promise.”

Toph hesitated, but after a moment put her hand on Liu’s arm.

“Please Liu. Please tell me what's going on.” Even while looking away, Liu couldn’t avoid the pain she was causing the people closest to her.

_ Beat. _

“... Where do you want me to start?”

Her hand moved slowly up her arm and over her lower chest, resting faintly on her ribs.

“With this.”

“I was in a fight.”

“No, I know that. Why were you in that fight?”

“I needed the money.”

Toph sighed. “Liu.”

“I’m not lying. I did.”

“There's more to it than that.”

“I told Sokka already, I’m not cut out for-”

“Liu.”

Liu froze up. Sokka might have stopped digging there, but Toph always saw more under the surface..

More than Liu ever wanted to dig herself.

Liu found herself with her hand over Toph’s, still resting on her chest.

“... I needed it. The rush. The adrenaline…”

_ Beat. _

“... The pain.”

Toph squeezed her hand, and Liu felt tears running down her face, unable to stop herself from crying. 

“I just- I just-” She tried to speak, but sobs interrupted her as she went. “I don’t kn-know what - to do anymore!” She cried as Toph held her hand and leaned in. Liu pulled her into a hug and began crying fully into her chest. Toph held her tight, as tight as she could while avoiding her ribs.

“I just can’t do it anymore, Toph. I can’t move on, I can’t grow, I’m nothing. I’m stuck. You all moved on after Ozai. You did something with your lives. But I’m still stuck.” The hug tightened. “I’m still at war.” Toph ran her hand through Liu’s hair, trying her best to comfort her. “And war is the only thing that makes sense to me anymore.”

Liu sobbed for what felt for hours, Toph’s doing her best to comfort her crying friend, and when she finally lifted her head, she saw that Toph had been crying with her. She wrapped her arms around her again, pulling herself up so she was no longer laying on her chest.

“I’m sorry, Toph. I’m so sorry.”

Toph gave her a soft half-smile. “You know, I can’t say it’s ok. But I _ can _ say that I understand now.”

Liu leaned back into her bed, eyes red. “Thank you. That’s all I can ask for.”


End file.
